Personal Journals November 17, 2017 - December 12, 2017

Alberta Khoury

Friday 17th November 2017

I left today’s class moved. Symbolism and Impressionism are not just names to me anymore. Artists of these movements capture simple moments so expressively. I wonder, would a person ever look at a lake, tree or garden and feel something? Maybe not. But why do we feel so moved when painters from these movements capture these simple ideas?  I don’t think it’s the artist’s technique only that makes these paintings moving. Isolating simple imagery makes one take more notice than usual. People don’t come home at the end of the day saying “Oh my goodness, I saw this amazing tree!” (Or maybe they do). However, when an artist forces us to focus on simple, ordinary objects, we have no choice but to feel intrigued. Focusing all our attention on ordinary ideas makes us wonder and think. A paradox.

I like the obscure, unclear portrayals of subject matter made by Impressionist artists. This hazy portrayal reminds me of memories. When I try remembering something, the image is foggy and unclear. The haziness makes the image a memory.

I thought Monet’s paintings were exquisite, really. I looked at them and all I could think was how much I wanted them all for myself one day. I have a feeling Monet appreciated his surroundings. I love this. I feel appreciation for subtlety might be lost nowadays. In films, we watch entire cities destroyed in order to achieve a reaction from the audience. I would think the death of one person is already overwhelming.  

I will cheer up this entry by looking at some magic. Oh isn’t this painting unworldly? The painting is La Grenouillére (1869). Look at how the water comes to life with Monet’s incredible technique. I am sure if I touched the painting, I would feel the water. I almost want to swim in the water.

I love this next painting, Woman in a Garden (1867).

I wonder if I was color blind before I saw this painting. I feel like Monet creates his own colors.

On another note, I cannot believe long hair has insane connotations! Oh my. I didn’t realize I could potentially be a walking man trap. I had a dream I was chased by all these men!

These thoughts are thanks to Puvis’ painting Girls by the Sea Shore (1879). I found my relatives! Long hair makes us unreal and potentially dangerous. But the painting is lovely, let’s not get carried with scary details.

A lot of Puvis’ works are funny. They are funny because you wouldn’t see the subject matter in real life. I seriously doubt one would see a random girl holding out a flower as they waltzed past a field. Basically most of his paintings would hit the news if they were based on real events. 

Tuesday 21st November 2017                                                                  

I have not seen anything like this artwork before.

The universe and changing faces of the man are... I’m lost for words.  I would not have associated these two ideas together even if I meditated for hours and hours. This imaginative art work is from Redon’s Dans le Reve: Germination (1879). I don’t know why but when I see this artwork I think of Carmina Burana. Perhaps I sense Orff’s work because of the strange, indescribable feeling I get from Redon’s lithograph. But I don’t know what the feeling is…

I could safely say Redon is one of my favorite artists. You can imagine how baffled I was when Professor Berman mentioned she met the son of the artist!

I am not surprised Redon would influence an artist like Marcel Duchamp as Duchamp was such a revolutionary and forward thinking person.

I was gobsmacked learning there could be more lithographs other than the first. How can someone come up with so many creative, unique ideas? I wonder, is there a secret?

Again, when I see this next lithograph, I don’t understand how Redon would associate a marble floor with an eyeball. He’s as drastic as David Lynch.  How does this image even enter one’s mind? Is there a special way of thinking?

I don’t believe an ordinary run of the mill person would think in this unique way. After I looked at these artworks, I challenged myself. I decided to choose one object surrounding me and attached a crazy unrelated idea to the object.  An unpredictable idea. This gedanken experiment produced interesting results…I looked at my guitar and saw a dragon coiled above the sound hole. This image added some fire to my playing that’s for sure!

The first thing I wondered about this next painting was, is the artist inspired by Indian art at all? I really think he may have been, especially considering how Impressionists looked at worldly influences, e.g. Debussy and the gamelan etc., would this be the case with Moreau? The painting is The Apparition (1874-76) and of course the subject matter is one of the craziest stories of Salome and the severed head of John the Baptist. Looking at this painting, I am so inspired to dance to Danza Rituel Del Fuego, oh it is very tempting! Although the Salome plotline is disturbing, I must admit we have a lot of great music inspired by the story. I wonder, what kind of art would be produced if we didn’t have bad events and stories… what would art be like?

After today’s class, I realized our minds are extraordinary. Earlier I said ordinary people wouldn’t think like Redon, but do people think out of the box then repress their thoughts for the purpose of conforming?

Tuesday 28th November 2017

Today was mystifying. Could labelling oneself be limiting? I call myself a guitarist, but I know I wouldn’t be much with just that label. I feel like labels come with stereotypes…saying I am a guitarist can lead to questions about the Aranjuez or curiosity about my right hand nails.

It’s funny because I was talking about these ideas with a friend. We both felt it wouldn’t be enough today or even in the past to just play your instrument. It takes more than just doing that.

So this question of labelling came from pondering whether Debussy was an Impressionist or Symbolist, moreover if this question is even worthy of debate. I think knowing about these styles wouldn’t hurt. We would only learn more about the music and have more understanding, bringing meaning to our encounters with the music. But sometimes over defining can very well come in the way of enjoying the art itself. In fact in a previous entry, I was wondering if overanalyzing art can distract from our enjoyment. Also, labelling can rule out dimensions. Nothing is really black and white. I’ve discovered there are MANY nuances in life.

Speaking of Debussy, La Mer (1903-05) left my mind occupied for the rest of the day.

Imagine this. Sunlight reflected on the waves, the surface of the waves opposing with an undercurrent….now imagine this image represented by music. Debussy achieves this representation.  

Music isn’t just organized sound. Music is the five senses put into a single form.

Debussy is like a magician, making us see things right in front of us that are not there.

When I heard La Mer, I imagined a particular film scene from one of my favorite films of all times, Hitchcock’s Vertigo. Though the scene is not necessarily about the sea, the tension in the music reflects the dramatic scene strongly.

Friday 1st December 2017

I appreciate the French language even more after today’s class. I must continue learning French from where I left off, parce-que Français c’est tres magnifique! Poetry was read and the sounds and creative choices of words were SO wonderful.  An example of the gorgeous poetry was Les Fleurs du Mal (1857) meaning The Flower of Evil (brace yourself). What I liked most about the poem was how perfumes, sounds and colors corresponded with each other. 

My day was made when we looked at my favorite artist Redon again.

It was like someone gave me a gift.

We looked at The Cyclops (1914), demonstrating a monster peeping over a hill to spy on a woman. The monster looks adorable!! It’s so cute I just want to hug it…

It’s funny how monsters are usually portrayed as soft, gentle creatures. A classic example would be Shelley’s Frankenstein.

I felt sad learning about a monster’s perspective. I realized how perception controls everything (to an extent) and how society forms much prejudice based on appearance.

Aren’t the colors of the painting exquisite? Colorful works of art are my favorite.  I think the beautiful colors represent the monster’s soul. Emotional and full of kindness I imagine.

I love Redon’s works so much! I feel like I’m going to faint right now.

Redon spent the rest of his life painting flowers. Why wouldn’t he? Flowers are colorful and he is a master of color. I get excited seeing an artist who is not only excellent with black and white lithographs but who has a flair for color. It’s like having a total spectrum of emotions mastered visually.  There is a painting of flowers I love which I will paste below. The flowers look like they are bursting right in front of you. Wait. Take 2. I love many of his flower paintings, not just one.                                                                            

So COLORFUL! I just can’t handle this….

I became so overwhelmed I went to draw something inspired by Redon.  

I was upset learning Redon had depression. I’m so disappointed I don’t want to say anything about his depression. I cannot imagine what depression would be like and I don’t want to make comments about something I couldn’t understand.

Friday 5th December 2017

My name in color.

We discussed synesthesia, and I was very intrigued by this subject. I believe I associate colors with letters. I do believe ‘A’ is pinkish, and ‘E’ is green...

I was so amused people associate words with foods. Oh my goodness, I could not stop laughing about this. There was apparently a man who broke up with his poor girlfriend because her name conjured a food he didn’t like! Is it bad if I associate every word in the English vocabulary with chocolate? No, I am sure this is not synesthesia related; I just love chocolate too much.

I was wondering why our minds associate color with something man-made like letters. Music is not man made as it is made up of sound and frequencies. But how does this work? Also, could dynamics and expressive techniques be related to color?  Sometimes I look at ppp and I imagine pink. Maybe this is simply the letter ‘p’ I am thinking of. But if one heard something played softly or loudly, would they see color because of the dynamic itself?

I heard a story about Rachmaninoff that was amazing. Apparently he has a home in New York, where (drum roll) he wrote my favorite composition, Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini! I love that piece so much, it makes my heart melt listening to it. And knowing it was written nearby gives me all the inspiration in the world to be a musician.

Rachmaninoff was discussed because of the synesthesia wanna-be Scriabin. Scriabin pretended he had synesthesia! That is so funny, what was he thinking? I was upset learning he wasn’t a very nice person.

But Messiaen and his Quartet for the End of Time (1940) was something else. I heard it played by Martin Fröst at Carnegie Hall.

Both the composer and the performers have left me in shock since.

I left Carnegie Hall in tears. When the concert finished, it was like someone’s life had ended. A life worth living again.

I held my autographed album close to my chest, closed my eyes and tried remembering every player’s role. Immediately I recalled the final work in the program, Messiaen’s Quartet for the End of Time. Then I remembered Martin Fröst. His playing was riveting. He began his Wozzeck crescendos so softly that we heard the nearby subway rumbling within our sacred space at Zankel Hall. 

Then I recalled the most profound scene I could imagine. The battle of the heart beat and emotion.

Pianist Lucas Debargue was the heartbeat, ticking the seconds by. Violinist Janine Jansen and cellist Torleif Thedéen were like prisoners with their hands tied behind their backs. Their screams could not halt time. Debargue’s chords reached climactic fortissimos; Messiaen would not let anybody escape.

The prisoners weren’t alone. They suspended us us in a single moment like puppets.

The final movement did not end until we unanimously decided it would. I felt as though I were beside the performers on stage, intimately recalling the journey together. We were the prisoners of the concentration camp, realizing the dreaded end.

We sat together closing our eyes, before deciding it was the end of time.

Martin posted an excerpt of my writing! I’ll never forget this moment.  

 Friday 8th December 2017

Today a guest speaker came into class and spoke of her experiences with synesthesia. I was quite amazed with a couple of points she made. She would see color before feeling pain. How…is… this…possible?

Sometimes I don’t know what to make of information like this. I cannot wait to tell my friends in Sydney about her story!  Another point she made was about her ‘visions.’ Again, I don’t know what to make of this. When she had acupuncture treatment, she saw all these visions. She painted them, and we saw what they were. They looked like bursts of colors. Bright colors.

I noticed she still seemed traumatized from her experience as a child when she told her friend ‘A’ was pink and her friend thought she was weird. I can tell this experience really haunts her till now. I am trying to empathize with her feelings, recalling any sad experiences I had myself when I was a child. I mean some were not nice but I’m not sure I am as impacted and hurt as she is feeling. Interesting.

I thought her artworks had startling colors. I didn’t understand the works, and I don’t think I quite understand exactly how synesthesia translates into art. Perhaps because I do not have the kind of synesthesia she has. I associate letters with colors but I have experienced nothing like she described. Her’s was a gift! I couldn’t believe Simon mentioned he never used a calendar in his life…. Gosh the relationship between space and time sounds like telepathy.

Actually, I have heard about people who see auras.  They see colors and halos surrounding people, and the speaker did mention she saw a halo when she hugged Professor Berman. I am wondering if the people who describe auras could simply have synesthesia. Or the other way around. It would make sense. 

Tuesday 12th December 2017

We looked at Ciurlionis. My favorite part of the class was listening to his music. I imagined so much when I listened to his work The Sea (1903-07). I liked the piece very much (from what I heard of it). The music reflected the sea, and reminded me of Vaughn William’s A Sea Symphony (1903-09). Vaughn Williams’ work was composed at a similar time, so who knows? Could be an influence.

Ciurlionis’ work reminded me of film music by Bernard Herrmann. Ciurlionis’ music has a romantic element as Professor Berman described... so lyrical and expressive. I love how multi-talented Ciurlionis is. His painting skills are marvelous.

This painting is called Rustle of Forest (1904). I really like this painting because it is very symbolic of the dark and almost mysterious nature of the forest.

I was fascinated learning this artists was a symbolist and maybe had synesthesia. I am still trying to understand this combination… it is a lot to take in!

I learnt something very intriguing about Joyce Yang today. She has synesthesia and I knew this because Margo would tell me Joyce would talk about her synesthesia with a friend. 

What struck me as fascinating was how G flat and F sharp have different colors. If she heard the note played in isolation, I wonder how she would interpret the color. I presume she needs context, but isn’t that fascinating?

I really enjoy the art works of Marcia Smilack. They are just beautiful. Look at this.

I feel like nature calls to her. She hears sounds and then sees what the source is. Colors stare back at her like nebulas in space!   This photograph below was not edited, (Photoshop); just nature at work. The wind behaves like a paintbrush.  When I saw this photograph, I remembered Martin Frost’s playing. His playing is so dynamic, colorful, and spontaneous. At the same time his playing also sounds so natural and organic. All of these qualities are just like the photograph. The two go hand in hand.

Epilogue

I must say, I wish big, impactful phrases such as “I love this” or “it was amazing” were not used so often because they lose their meaning over time. When I say this class truly solidified a connection in my mind between art and music, I do mean it really. Of course themes have come up in the classes over the semester that have stuck with me. The most impactful artist was Redon. My goodness I love his works. And I was over the moon today discovering he was also a musician; a violinist. I would give anything to see his artworks in person, or meet a relative of his.

I liked learning about modes incorporated art, and my favorite mode is definitely Phrygian.  So passionate and full of life.  I love this mode in music and art.

Another stand out in these classes was the Rococo era. Beneath the pretty, frilly layer was drama. Who wouldn’t enjoy the Rococo era or this amazing class?

Works Cited

Images sourced courtesy of ARTSTOR.

Copyright © 2019 Alberta Khoury