Poems for a New Life

Polina Mankova

I have chosen to share a few of my grandmothers’ poems that have been lost, but then found. After her passing, my mother came across them when traveling back to Russia among her personal items. She was not aware of this collection, and after this discovery she seemed to grow a deeper connection and respect for her mother. It is funny how it appears our love for someone transcends even more after they have gone. This process started with my mother deciphering the poems from scribbles on newspapers, journal pages, napkins, any paper that was saved from her time of writing. It was an emotional journey going back into the past for her, but she was determined to learn about her mother and revive her art. Seeing how special this moment was for my mother, I decided to take it upon myself and create this project of then translating them all to English. With this I have found great pleasure in getting in touch with my ancestry and how beautiful our circle of life has become. Please enjoy words of memory and thoughts!

The pink walls radiate,
As a bright light shines from the window.
And the sun slowly lifts from its crib
It is sunrise.
Oh how my heart aches with unsettling thoughts.
There is not enough air, space
I am not happy with the sun too far away.
How I long to take off and rush into the hills
But this is all just a dream.
And this is all just in another world I imagined.

Светлеют розовые стены
В окно ударил яркий свет
И солнца медленно встает из колыбели,
И начинается рассвет.
Как спазмы сердца давят меня мысли
Не разрешенностью своей.
Мне не хватает воздуха, простора
Не радует и солнца в далеке.
Как хочется взлететь, умчаться в поле
Но это всё мечты,
И это все в другой, придуманною мной стране.

Draw yourself a rainbow
And…look at it with a smile.
Forget the cloudy storm that is your life.
Count the colors of this rainbow
And…remember moments of happiness
That were yours
Were mine
Were all of ours in this fragile world.

Нарисуй себе радугу
И…улыбайся глядя на неё
Забыв на время тучи, ураганы твоей жизни.
Считай цвета этой радуги
И…вспоминай только мгновение радости
Что были, были у тебя и меня
И всех живущих в этом хрупком мире…

Don’t wait for tears…
Lakes are empty bottoms -
Everything has dried up?!
For a long time, rain has not fallen
And renewal - there is none.
At the bottom, a sedge leaf:
Carelessness and - a cut.
And pain - instant.
And bitter copper…
Don’t wait for tears
Don’t wait for them.

Не ждите слёз…
Озёр пустое дно-
Всё высохло?!
Давно дожди не льют
И обновленья - нет.
На дне осоки лист:
Не осторожность и - порез.
И боль - мгновенная.
И горький медь…
Не ждите слёз
Не ждите их.

The Mask
Today I want not to - sob
not to - cry
not to - wail
Be a dog in the wind.
Forget for a - moment
for a - day
for a - while
The pain and the wounds and the ache
And the eternal soul.
Should I be a butterfly or a moth?
How about a woman?
Clever and playful, and silly
And a little stubborn, unprotected…
And vulnerable?
You, the mask, my faithful friend
Always switching roles in front of me, not waiting for the applause
Wise, sad, and lonely
From birth until forever.

Маска
Хочу сегодня не - рыдать
не - плакать
не - выть
Собакой на ветру.
Забыть на миг
на день
на время
И боль, и раны, и обиду
Вечную земную суету.
Побыть ли бабочкой
иль мотыльком?
А может женщиной?
Лукавой и игривой, и легкомысленной
И чуть - строптивой,
Не защищенной…и ранимой?
Ты - маска - верная моя подруга
Всегда при мне - играешь роли-
Не ждёшь наград, аплодисментов -
Мудра, печальна
И одинока - от рождения, навсегда.